Duas

As someone who is passionate about the Early Years, I know we are all born innocent with a strong connection to our Creator. Children’s duas are incredibly precious. Some of you may remember the virtual gift we created for Brother Ahmed’s family following the birth of their baby in Gaza. The reason I wanted to get children involved in creating this gift was because I know how important their prayers are. If we educate children in a way that ensures they are connected to Allah and His messenger ﷺ, their duas can work miracles. SubhanAllah.

I personally remember making duas as a child. I remember being patient after making dua and I remember the feeling of my heart being filled with something beautiful when my dua came true. As a child, I knew they always did come true with some patience. Alhamdulillah. As I reached my teenage years- this changed. It felt like my duas were no longer accepted. On reflection, I now know this is because I became lost in the dunya. I became busy trying to fit in with my friends at the time. I became busy studying and working hard to achieve “success” and “security” in this world, working hard to make my parents proud. These things matter, but it’s easy to lose sight of what matters more. Allah forgive me, Ameen. During this period of my duas not feeling accepted, Allah gave me many blessings that I didn’t ask for. With the grace and guidance of Allah, one thing that never left me was gratitude. Even though what I wanted wasn’t always happening and the challenges I faced were becoming harder to overcome emotionally, something deep within me was still able to count my blessings. This is why I love to incorporate Positive Psychology into my practise, both personally and professionally. I’ll always remember the words of Dr Emily Hill who first introduced me to Positive Psychology and taught me how to use it within a classroom setting.

“Doctors will tell you how to treat depression and anxiety- but they won’t teach you how to avoid it in the first place.”

From a secular perspective, Positive Psychology can teach us how to do this. From an Islamic perspective, I know our religion has all the answers. When we understand our religion and use practical skills rooted in Positive Psychology, we can strengthen both our minds and our souls. SubhanAllah.

Over the past 6 years, I have felt my duas being accepted once again, Alhamdullilah. I’ve realised that when my duas are purposeful and aimed at becoming a better Muslim, they come true with clarity. An example of such a dua is when I found myself praying for righteous company. Soon after, I regained contact with an old University friend who went from studying Law with me, to later studying Islam and becoming an Ustadha Masha’allah. Can you imagine that feeling? You’ve been praying for righteous company, your mind reminds you of a friend that you once studied a secular subject with, so you seek out this friend after nearly 10 years, only to realise that her direction in life had changed completely. She guided me towards seeking Islamic knowledge. Alhamdullilah. May Allah bless her with the best in both worlds. Ameen.  This was not a coincidence. This was the answer to my duas.

Another example is from Last Ramadan (2024). I was praying for Allah to use me in His service to help our brothers and sisters who are suffering in Palestine- two months later Brother Ahmed messaged me asking for support to save his family. I have gained more from Brother Ahmed and his family in the form of duas and love, than they could ever gain from me. Alhamdullilah.

I like to reflect deeply on my experiences. So, let’s now delve into what I’ve learnt in the hope that I can reassure you.

Why do we make dua?

It’s important to be mindful of the purpose of engaging in dua. Dua is an act of worship. Allah loves for us to reach out to Him. If the reason for making dua is only so we can get what we want for ourselves in this worldly life, then we need to reflect on our connection and improve our understanding of our Creator. What truly matters in life? How is what you are asking for, going to make you a better person?

What are some of the barriers?

1. Sins

If we distance ourselves from Allah and don’t ask for His forgiveness, if we don’t show gratitude for the smallest of blessings, what right to do we have to expect our duas to be accepted with clarity? Allah has told us clearly in the Quran:

وَإِذْ تَأَذَّنَ رَبُّكُمْ لَئِن شَكَرْتُمْ لَأَزِيدَنَّكُمْ ۖ وَلَئِن كَفَرْتُمْ إِنَّ عَذَابِى لَشَدِيدٌۭ 

Wa iz ta azzana Rabbukum la`in shakartum la azeedannakum wa la`in kafartum inn`azaabee lashadeed

If you are grateful, I will certainly give you more. But if you are ungrateful, surely My punishment is severe.

Surah Ibrahim Verse 7

Engaging in sincere repentance and gratitude regularly can open doors of goodness. Show Allah that you want to please Him, and your only fear is to upset Him.

2. Unresolved trauma

Trauma is real and can start as early as pregnancy and child birth. If we are trauma informed, we have a higher chance of being able to resolve it, rather than passing down generational trauma.

3. A lack of skills and personal boundaries.

Sometimes, it’s our own next steps in learning and a need for education that affect us negatively- not the fact that our duas are not being accepted. Sadly, I see this happen in a lot of marriages and parent/child relationships. We can overcome these challenges if we are aware and wanting to learn. This reinforces the need to be reflective on our own strengths and areas for growth. A butterfly doesn't emerge from the chrysalis without patience and struggle. A chick doesn't hatch from an egg without patience and struggle. We, as humans, cannot expect to grow without having patience and struggling through challenges. We also need to be conscious of how our environment and the people around us affect us. Often, our hearts break because the people we love don't seem to understand us, despite communicating with them. Allah understands without you saying a word! SubhanAllah. 

4. The way we make dua.

Do we demand for Allah to give us what we want or need? Or, do we show vulnerability during our duas? Do we show Allah that we know He holds all power? Do we acknowledge that ultimately His will is far more important than our wants and needs? Our ultimate want should be to please Him.

5. A lack of Tawakkul

Do we put trust in Allah regarding all our affairs? Do we recognise that Allah knows what is best for us even if it’s not what we wanted. Allah sees a bigger picture that we can’t see. It’s natural as human beings to become consumed within our own thoughts and feelings, so this trust that Allah sees, hears and knows all, is incredibly important.

This list of barriers is not exhausted. Once we understand our personal barriers, we can then work to improve our connection.

How can I improve the way I make dua?

• Obligations

We must ensure that we are carrying out the obligations that Allah has asked us to. At the minimum, we should be praying our Fard salah with the intention of increasing this to sunnah and other voluntary prayers. We need to ensure we are mindful of the pillars of Islam- What makes us Muslim? Is it our name? That we’re born into a Muslim family? Or, is it the fact that we submit to the will of Allah? The literal definition of “Muslim” is someone who submits to God.

• Praise Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala

 A great way to make our duas more meaningful is to use Allah’s names as we ask for what we need in our lives. I personally like to read the 99 names of Allah, then make a list of the attributes that I need the most. I then call upon Him using His beautiful names.

Here are a few examples:

“Oh Allah! You are As-Salaam. You are the source of all peace, please fill my heart, my mind and my home with peace. Ameen.”

“Oh Allah! You are Al-Mujib. You are the responder to prayer, please accept my prayers. Ameen.”

“Oh Allah! You are Al-Wadud. You are the loving one. Please fill my heart with Your love so I don’t need the love of anyone else in this world. Ameen.”

• Send salutations on our beloved Prophet Muhammad ﷺ

To become more connected to Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala, we must send salutations on our beloved Prophet Muhammad ﷺ. The more salutations we send upon him, the better. Allah sent him to us as the best of mankind whose status is the highest in the eyes of Allah.

We are commanded by Allah to send salutations upon him in the Quran:

إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ وَمَلَـٰٓئِكَتَهُۥ يُصَلُّونَ عَلَى ٱلنَّبِيِّۚ يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ صَلُّواْ عَلَيۡهِ وَسَلِّمُواْ تَسۡلِيمًا

Inna Allaha wamalaikatahu yusalloona alannabi ya ayyuha allatheena amanoo salloo alayhi wasallimoo tasleema

Indeed, Allah showers His blessings upon the Prophet, and His angels pray for him. O believers! Invoke Allah’s blessings upon him, and salute him with worthy greetings of peace.

Surah Al-Ahzab 33:56

Here is a beautiful hadith to further illustrate the importance of remembering our beloved Prophet Muhammad ﷺ.

A man once came to the messenger of God, peace be upon him, and said, “O Messenger of God! What do you think if I make my entire dua only salutations upon you?” The Prophet, peace be upon him said “In that case, Allah most high will take care of whatever concerns you with regard to this world and the Hereafter.”

At-Tirmidhi and Musnad of Imam Ahmad

SubhanAllah! This teaches us that Allah knows our deepest needs, even when we can’t bring ourselves to articulate them in words. We can simply send repeated salutations upon Prophet Muhammad ﷺ and just feel our needs and wants within our hearts.

• Be sincere, vulnerable and have complete trust in Allah

To see the fruits of our duas, we must know how to be sincere and vulnerable. Allah knows what is best for you even when you don’t know it        yourself. He is the only one who can guide you to goodness and protect you from all harm. Make heartfelt dua in your own language while  you are in sujood, when you are in distress and when you feel His blessings upon you. Even the fact that you are reading this article right now, is from the blessings of Allah. You have eyes that can see and a heart that wants to learn! Alhamdullilah!

When life gets difficult, pour your heart out to Him…

“Oh Allah! I know you have put me in this situation for a reason. I know this hardship is to teach me something important and to bring me closer to You. I am grateful for any test that brings me closer to You. Oh Allah, I am human and I feel weak and confused. I ask for your guidance, for patience and for strength as I try to get through this hardship. Please don’t leave me alone; I can’t get through this without you.”

• Use the duas of the prophets

 The prophets were sent to us as examples. Use their duas as they are, or as inspiration for your own duas. The best language spoken is one           from your heart. Here are some examples I use often for myself.

Duas of Musa Alayhis-salaam

رَبِّ اشْرَحْ لِي صَدْرِي وَيَسِّرْ لِي أَمْرِي وَاحْلُلْ عُقْدَةً مِنْ لِسَانِي يَفْقَهُوا قَوْلِي

Rabbish rah lee sadree Wa yassir leee amree Wahlul ‘uqdatan milli saanee Yafqahoo qawlee

“My Lord, expand for me my breast [with assurance] And ease for me my task and untie the knot from my tongue so that they may understand my speech.”

Surah Ta-Ha Ayat 25-28

رَبِّ إِنِّى لِمَآ أَنزَلْتَ إِلَىَّ مِنْ خَيْرٍۢ فَقِيرٌۭ 

Rabbi Inni Lima Anzalta Ilayya Min Khairin Faqir

“My Lord, indeed I am in need of whatever good You send down to me.”

Surah Al-Qasas Ayat 24

Dua of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ

لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ الْعَظِيمُ الْحَلِيمُ، لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ رَبُّ الْعَرْشِ الْعَظِيمِ، لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ رَبُّ السَّمَوَاتِ، وَرَبُّ الْأَرْضِ، وَرَبُّ الْعَرْشِ الْكَرِيمِ 

La ilaha illallah al-adheem al-Haleem. La ilaha illallah Rabbul-‘Arshil-‘Adheem. La ilaha illallah Rabbus-samawat, wa Rabbul-ardh, wa Rabbul-‘Arshil- Kareem

None has the right to be worshipped except Allah, the Most Great, the Most-Forbearing. None has the right to be worshipped except Allah, Lord of the Magnificent Throne. None has the right to be worshipped except Allah, Lord of the Heavens, Lord of the Earth, and Lord of the Noble Throne.

Al-Bukhari 6345 and Muslim 2730

      Recite this dua then say what it is you want and need from Allah.

• Seek Islamic knowledge and learn new skills

 When we face troubles and difficulties, if we have knowledge, we can navigate through problems much easier. If we have the right skills, we           can use them to overcome challenges.

• Patience

Hold strong faith in Allah's timing. Until then, remain patient and make necessary changes to help you stay steadfast in pleasing Allah while you wait.  

Disclaimer:

The content of this article poses as a reminder for myself before anyone else.

I specialise in Early Childhood Education (0-7 Years) from a secular perspective. I understand that learning can never be exhausted- I will always have something new to learn even within my area of expertise.

I am merely a student of Islamic Knowledge. Islamic knowledge is not something I am qualified in.

For anyone wanting to know where I seek my Islamic knowledge from, please do get it touch.

I will end this article with some words of motivation.

Don’t give up! You are not helpless and you are not alone, unless you choose to be. Allah created you with a purpose and He is always with you. We move away from Him, influenced by the cursed Shaitan. Despite this, Allah still accepts us with love and forgiveness, as soon as we begin to make small steps towards Him again. Alhamdullilah.

Barakallahu feekum.

Neelam

For anyone who may benefit from personal support and guidance, please do get in touch to book a support call. Proactively seeking out support and guidance when you need it, is one way you can empower yourself. Support calls do come with a fee as I try my best to support two families in Gaza, and raise money for educational opportunities. The money you invest in good causes and to attain knowledge and growth for yourself and for your family, will speak for you on the Day of Judgement.

If you are someone needing desperate support but unable to pay the fee, please still get in touch. Insha’Allah I will try my best to support you personally, or point you in the right direction.